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爆乐保举:主动出击倏得婚前婚后的转化也太大了
发布时间:2024-04-04 01:09
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小编

  诸位狐友众人好,我是搞乐呆呆,我感觉生计本就该众姿众彩充满有趣,平淡我热爱看

  盘货那些主动出击霎时,婚前婚后的蜕变也太大了!成婚了之后,男人都太累了!

  4、逐日一乐:动作一枚烟民,等公交有三大痛!第一是刚点上一只,正企图爽一下的光阴车就来了;第二是等了久远车没来,悔怨没点上一只;第三是等了久远车没来,点上一支,刚吸两口车就来了。

  狐友们你们热爱这些搞乐动图GIF和搞乐段子吗?这些逗比妹子很搞乐,固然不是性感美女动态图,然则依然很美丽很搞乐的哦。能够给小编点个赞吗?返回搜狐,查看更众

  2、搞乐段子:还记得六年前的暑假,那年我刚16,去一个速餐店应聘供职生。口试我的老板是个二十众岁的老大,和我一睹如故,当时就说假如我正在这上班的话就让我当副班长。我看店里供职生的有七八个,等我上岗才领会,他们都是班长!

  3南宫28、夷悦时辰:几天前,公司给每个员工拍一张职业照。拍照师说我样子太木讷,然后教我:“你把我遐念成你的妻子,你平淡怎么对她乐,就怎么对我乐。”于是我照做了……本日我把照片给老妈看,她说:“奈何乐得像个奴婢似的?”

  1、爆乐段子:我那媳妇也是个圆活的二货。媳妇通常网购少少小东西,况且媳妇还正在备注上写着:妊妇,上下楼未便,请送货上门吧!至极感激!也便是正在前天,速递小兄弟,实正在受不清晰,说:2年了,你无间正在受孕吗?还没卸货吗?

// 2){ var textDat = textDiv.innerHTML; var br = textDat.toLowerCase().indexOf("=0 && divTop var sWeek = new Array("星期日", "星期一", "星期二", "星期三", "星期四", "星期五", "星期六"); var dNow = new Date(); var CalendarData = new Array(100); var madd = new Array(12); var tgString = "甲乙丙丁戊己庚辛壬癸"; var dzString = "子丑寅卯辰巳午未申酉戌亥"; var numString = "一二三四五六七八九十"; var monString = "正二三四五六七八九十冬腊"; var sx = "鼠牛虎兔龙蛇马羊猴鸡狗猪"; var cYear, cMonth, cDay, TheDate; CalendarData = new Array(0xA4B, 0x5164B, 0x6A5, 0x6D4, 0x415B5, 0x2B6, 0x957, 0x2092F, 0x497, 0x60C96, 0xD4A, 0xEA5, 0x50DA9, 0x5AD, 0x2B6, 0x3126E, 0x92E, 0x7192D, 0xC95, 0xD4A, 0x61B4A, 0xB55, 0x56A, 0x4155B, 0x25D, 0x92D, 0x2192B, 0xA95, 0x71695, 0x6CA, 0xB55, 0x50AB5, 0x4DA, 0xA5B, 0x30A57, 0x52B, 0x8152A, 0xE95, 0x6AA, 0x615AA, 0xAB5, 0x4B6, 0x414AE, 0xA57, 0x526, 0x31D26, 0xD95, 0x70B55, 0x56A, 0x96D, 0x5095D, 0x4AD, 0xA4D, 0x41A4D, 0xD25, 0x81AA5, 0xB54, 0xB6A, 0x612DA, 0x95B, 0x49B, 0x41497, 0xA4B, 0xA164B, 0x6A5, 0x6D4, 0x615B4, 0xAB6, 0x957, 0x5092F, 0x497, 0x64B, 0x30D4A, 0xEA5, 0x80D65, 0x5AC, 0xAB6, 0x5126D, 0x92E, 0xC96, 0x41A95, 0xD4A, 0xDA5, 0x20B55, 0x56A, 0x7155B, 0x25D, 0x92D, 0x5192B, 0xA95, 0xB4A, 0x416AA, 0xAD5, 0x90AB5, 0x4BA, 0xA5B, 0x60A57, 0x52B, 0xA93, 0x40E95); madd[0] = 0; madd[1] = 31; madd[2] = 59; madd[3] = 90; madd[4] = 120; madd[5] = 151; madd[6] = 181; madd[7] = 212; madd[8] = 243; madd[9] = 273; madd[10] = 304; madd[11] = 334; function GetBit(m, n) { return(m >> n) & 1; } function e2c() { TheDate = (arguments.length != 3) ? new Date() : new Date(arguments[0], arguments[1], arguments[2]); var total, m, n, k; var isEnd = false; var tmp = TheDate.getFullYear(); total = (tmp - 1921) * 365 + Math.floor((tmp - 1921) / 4) + madd[TheDate.getMonth()] + TheDate.getDate() - 38; if(TheDate.getYear() % 4 == 0 && TheDate.getMonth() > 1) { total++; } for(m = 0;; m++) { k = (CalendarData[m] < 0xfff) ? 11 : 12; for(n = k; n >= 0; n--) { if(total <= 29 + GetBit(CalendarData[m], n)) { isEnd = true; break; } total = total - 29 - GetBit(CalendarData[m], n); } if(isEnd) break; } cYear = 1921 + m; cMonth = k - n + 1; cDay = total; if(k == 12) { if(cMonth == Math.floor(CalendarData[m] / 0x10000) + 1) { cMonth = 1 - cMonth; } if(cMonth > Math.floor(CalendarData[m] / 0x10000) + 1) { cMonth--; } } } /*戊戌狗年 腊月廿*/ function GetcDateString() { var tmp = ""; tmp += tgString.charAt((cYear - 4) % 10); tmp += dzString.charAt((cYear - 4) % 12); tmp += sx.charAt((cYear - 4) % 12); tmp += "年 "; if(cMonth < 1) { tmp += "(闰)"; tmp += monString.charAt(-cMonth - 1); } else { tmp += monString.charAt(cMonth - 1); } tmp += "月"; tmp += (cDay < 11) ? "初" : ((cDay < 20) ? "十" : ((cDay < 30) ? "廿" : "三十")); if(cDay % 10 != 0 || cDay == 10) { tmp += numString.charAt((cDay - 1) % 10); } return tmp; } function GetLunarDay(solarYear, solarMonth, solarDay) { if(solarYear < 1921 || solarYear > 2020) { return ""; } else { solarMonth = (parseInt(solarMonth) > 0) ? (solarMonth - 1) : 11; e2c(solarYear, solarMonth, solarDay); return GetcDateString(); } } function getFullYear(d) { // 修正firefox下year错误 yr = d.getYear(); if(yr < 1000) yr += 1900; return yr; } /*写入页面*/ function showDate() { var D = new Date(); var yy = D.getFullYear(); var mm = D.getMonth() + 1; var dd = D.getDate(); var ww = D.getDay(); var ss = parseInt(D.getTime() / 1000); var h = D.getHours(); var m = D.getMinutes(); var s = D.getSeconds(); var sValue = getFullYear(dNow) + "年" + (dNow.getMonth() + 1) + "月" + dNow.getDate() + "日" + " " + sWeek[dNow.getDay()] + " "; sValue += GetLunarDay(yy, mm, dd); sValue += shapetime(h,m,s); document.getElementById("pDate").innerHTML = sValue; setTimeout("showDate()", 500); }; /*格式化时间*/ function shapetime(h, m, s) { if(s <= 9) s = "0" + s; if(m <= 9) m = "0" + m; if(h <= 9) h = "0" + h; return h + ":" + m + ":" + s } window.onload = showDate;